Yes, and I will rejoice, 19 for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, 20 as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. 22 If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. 23 I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. 24 But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. 25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, 26 so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again.

Philippians 1:18b-26

I came across this passage a while back while reading one night. I literally sat and read through these verses 5 times. Since then, I've read through here multiple times, and I'm still grappling with the meaning behind it all. You might say, of well, it's obvious what it means! I understand the literal meaning of it. What I'm working through is the personal revelation of what these words mean. These words have become really, quite powerful to me of late. Yes, I still don't fully "get" them, but I can say that they are working and moving in my heart.

As I was reading through this passage of scripture verse 21-26 really struck me. Paul was honestly dealing with these thoughts. Verses 22b-24 stood out to me because I could tell by the wording and the straight-forwardness of the tone that Paul meant this, he was really struggling with these thoughts, these words, these feelings. He wanted to be with Christ! Now!

I think as Christians, we all long to be with Christ. That's healthy, we need to feel that longing. Something that gets pushed to the side though is that while we are on this Earth, we are here to continue Christ's mission. We are here to help His kingdom flourish. So whether we live or die, we are for Christ. Christ should eminate from our entire being.

To live is Christ, and to die is gain. My hope is that for me to live, is Christ.


Brianna

"In the same way that the Pharisees thought they have killed Christ, and put His body in a dark grave, thinking He was gone forever, the [Council of Constance] who opposed John Wycliffe thought their symbolic act of disintering the "heretic" and throwing away his ashes would kill his memory among his followers. But as the Pharisees learned to their dismay, nothing could stop Jesus Christ, and nothing can stop the truth."

-John Foxe

"Why buy a moments ease at the expense of a miserable eternity?"

-Denisa (16 year old martyr)

I think I'm going to put up my Christmas list. Not because I'm dying to get any of this stuff (who ever feels that way once you're over 12 years old?), but because it makes me happy to talk about fun stuff. And this way, if I lose the paper list I have, I won't have forgotten it all and become totally clueless when birthday/Christmas time comes around!

A punching bag.
Les Miserables (DVD).
Angus and Julia Stone (CD).
Nneka (CD).
Video camera.
After, by Francine Prose (book).
Reformation Study Bible (ESV).
Operation World (book).

Fun stuff, I know.

Lydia

P.S. I am reading Foxe's Book of Martyrs. Oh. My. Word.
More on such later.

"

I feel like I'm about to fall over. Literally.

Can you guess as to why? No, I don't have some mysterious muscle disease that is making it difficult for me to stand. No, I have not been shocked to the point of fainting. And, no, I have not just met Joseph Gordon Levitt in person. The fact is this: I'm exhausted. Never did I ever think I could feel so tired. It's 8 P.M. for peets sake, and I'm falling off into dreamy land!

I will say this...this tiredness I'm feeling--it's a result of work. Wonderful, fun, busying work. Normally, I wouldn't be this tired from doing school. But right now, in the midst of the chaos of working and doing schoolwork my days seem to go on and on and on. It's as if I no longer have one week...but rather one majorly prolonged day.

This exhaustion, strangly enough, is quite fulfilling.

Briannna

Quotes.

"Peace! Be strong now; be strong." -The Angel, Daniel 10:19b

"There are two standards by which we judge all events in the world and that is simply whether they are far or near." -Alexander Solzhenitsyn

"Christianity is one beggar telling another beggar where he found food." -D.T. Niles

"Leaning back is a way of lying down standing which is not disliked by dreamers." -Victor Hugo, Les Miserables.

"We do not make requests of you because we are righteous, but because of your great mercy. O Lord, listen!" -Daniel, Daniel 19:18b

"Today we pledge allegiance to moving. To running alone, to running marathons, and to running wild. To running like your life depends on it, and knowing that it does." -NewBalance


So.much.joy.

Lydia

I have been stolen from for the first time, I discovered today. It's a crazy thing. To one minute own something and the next not. Wow.
I am having a garage sale and I've been accepting donations from the wonderful people in my life for it. I've gotten some splendid rummage and have been storing it in a garage about a mile from my house. My parents also keep some belongings down there. Expensive belongings. All they took from me (that I know of) was two air filters donated by the Monroes. They probably would have gone for 3 or 5 dollars at the sale, so it's not like I'm going to make a whole lot less now, it's just the fact that these people took them. Thanks, Monroes, for the filters, but apparently God didn't want them at the sale. I know I'll get to Jamaica anyway.
When I first heard about it I was peeved. I was peeved at the people who did the thieving. It's just lame that they would take those two things, and mess around with the other stuff. But I took a deep breath and thought, "These are people. Just like me. They are corrupt like I am. They just haven't met Jesus yet." I am so thankful to God for allowing the Holy Spirit to come in, calm me down, and give me the strength to love these people who took from my parents, and I. All before I've even met them (nevermind that I probably never will).
I am thankful to You, O God, for giving me stuff in the first place. It is really your stuff, and I really don't care what happens to it. Bless the people that took from me. And take the rest, Lord. Take it all and leave me like Job, destitute-without belongings, strong in your love.

lydia

Yes, this is a waffle shaped like Texas. No, I am not in Texas. No, I did not purchase a waffle-maker that makes waffles shaped like Texas; though that would be pretty dang awesome.

Lydia

I've got on here tonight knowing that I have something to say, but not knowing exactly how to say it. Usually I go over subject matter in my mind until I have come up with at least an idea of how I am going to express myself. Tonight, though, I have no idea...yet.
So this job has got me thinking. (Sorry I talk about it a lot, trust me, it's not because I like it all that much.) I've always sort of wondered why people want to work in offices, like, what makes white collar work "better" than blue collar work?-or, at least, what makes every one think that one is better than the other? Well, working in an office has definetely not answered these questions. It has only made me wonder even more. It's just staring at a screen, making calls, answering questions all day. Sure things vary from day to day more at a law firm than they do for people who clean pools, but it's not that varied, and you're INSIDE. all. the. time. What's appealing about that? What's appealing about sitting on your bum all day? What's appealing about taking a fifteen minute break in a white-washed room every three hours? Then again...what is there to look forward to in waking up before the sun so as to beat the heat, and plant the shrubbery? What's the joy in manning the furnace at an aluminum plant every night? What's appealing about breaking your back for forty years and aching for fifteen more? Don't get me wrong, I love working, but five days a week, eight hours a day, can make anything seem brutal in my simple mind. I wonder if it is selfish to want to spend those five days doing something one loves.
Any adults who read this are probably chuckling as I wake up to the realities of life. Whether college, or work force, or career path, people have to do things they don't want to. Things even less preferable to them than a ten-page report or fifty problem math set. Things worse than High School. As I work in this office I am learning more and more to love and embrace the time I get to study as well as chill out during my High School years. Two more years before I've got to get moving and do something with my life. I have no idea at all what I want to do with my life (as in a long-term plan of action), and I kind of worry myself by just not worrying at all. Nobody else seems to be worrying really, but most of them have some idea of what school or path they're are going to choose. I just want to dabble in everything, which most likely won't work so well for someone who needs to make a living. Yet, still, when I look inside myself all I detect, in relation to my future, is a sea of calm. This could be good, this could be bad. I'm not really worried.



Lydia

P.S. Today I saw a lovely lady at the dollar store. She was listening to music on her Ipod and singing along to it; out loud. It was K.C. and the Sunshine Band. Quite fun stuff. She proceeded to dance while waiting in line, purchase the six balloons tied around her wrist, and then leave. My hero.

Yeah, that's right.

Alright, that's it, I am not spending the rest of my life indoors.
I've got this office job, right. And I didn't expect to like it. I knew it would be a stretch, but after 3 days I did not expect to feel like a girl in a cage. I never wanna spend more than four hours inside a building again, ever. Especially not a building with flourescent lights. My last three days (and when I say days I mean a 5 hour day, a 7 and a 1/2 hour day, and a 9 hour day) can be summed up exactly the way Emily predicted this job would be...."death by flourescent lights". Yep, that's it. That being said, I am learning a lot. And I am observing a whole new area of contemporary life. Office life that is: the running of a franchise. Employment, also. As well as a bunch of other stuff I am happy to know, but just wish it didn't take so long to learn. Truly, I think, this information will be more beneficial to me than what I would have learned had I got a job at a restaurant or a retail store would've been, because I am also learning the workings of a fast-food restaurant, from the management side. Still, it's not fun, and my free spirit is very very unhappy right now. I think I might camp out tonight...think that'll help?

Lydia

Lydia: Surely you're all expecting me to post about returning to school and my excitement/worries about Junior year. Well, this year, August is not the back-to-school month for me, because I got a job. I'm not as elated about this as one would expect because it's a full-time office job (not at all what I've been looking for). I am thankful, though, and I think it's going to be a good experience. So yeah, this month, I plan to nip this temporary office job in the bud and be ready to start Junior year by September.


Brianna: Well, I'm surviving. That's for sure. My plan for the month is to juggle (sucessfully, mind you) both work and school. Easier said then done...I'm guessing so.

Happy August!