Thanksgiving sometimes seems like an exercise in apathy, and little more.

It's Thanksgiving week so me and my baby sister have had more time to hang out! We made this picture out of melted crayons yesterday, and managed to shut the power down for a minute (apparently 2 is too many blow dryers going at once;))! It's not the most beautiful thing that I have made, but we spent time together and that's what matters.

I <3 you, baby sis.

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ~The Apostle Paul

Paul wrote this in a letter after telling the church in Corinth (Greece) that he had been struggling with a vice and had asked God three times to remove it (apparently, saying something 3 times in Greek is like shouting or writing it in italics). It was something terrible, perhaps physical, perhaps emotional. Whatever it was, Paul struggled with it for a long time, and he hated it, but through this he learned how to trust God more, as the passage above implies.
Now, I am not trying to make Paul's thorn seem less important or serious by comparing it to mine, but I am struggling with something hard now too. I REALLY doubt that it is worse or as bad as his was, but that does not mean it is easier to deal with. It's making everyday life more complicated, it's testing my patience and endurance, and it's making me question my dreams, and future plans. I have always thought that dreams are good things-they are gifts from God. Most of my dreams require the action that this thorn is taking away from me: to walk the hippy trail, to hitch hike across the U.S.A. with a true friend (sappy, I know, but a dream's a dream), to rescue Sudanese children from captivity. Is this thorn God's way of showing me that these are not the dreams He wants me to chase? Or is He just telling me to be patient, to bear the pain silently, and to look towards brighter tomorrows with fresh hope? He hasn't told me what it is yet. I do know, however, that His mercies are new every morning. I know that this pain is only temporary,and that though I may be weak physically, I can be strong spiritually.




Lydia

I'm at a stage in my life where all it seems I'm doing is figuring out stuff. I'm figuring out where I'm going to attend college in the fall. I'm trying to find scholarships so I can somehow afford school.

Honestly, it stresses me out. I'm so overwhelmed my it all. There are so many different sites to look at and so many things to fill out and try to write. I'm stuck in this stage where I'm paralyzed by all of this. I'm so scared that I won't get in where I want to go, and even if I do, that I won't be able to go there because I can't pay for it. Really, I think the later option is what scares me the most. I'm terrified of being stuck here. No, it's not like I hate where I am...I don't exactly. I just can not be here next year. The closest of my friends, the ones who share in my hearts desires and life goals, etc., they won't be here. I can not be here without them.

The three of us support one another while we're here. None of us want to stay here, and all of us share in the desire to serve somewhere in this world...mostly out of the states. Since we all have this singular desire, we all hold one another up.

This is partially why I don't want to be here. The closest of my friends are going to be out, doing something else, something they want and desire while I am stuck...stuck in the mundane in a place I have grown tired of. I know that sounds harsh...when I've tried to explain it before, I've gotten shocked expressions. I don't know how to put what I'm feeling in less-harsh words.

I just remain waiting on my Savior. Waiting to see where He will take all of this. I know it's all in His hands, and I need to rest in that. It's hard and I really struggle with that concept sometimes, but that's also just me needing to rely on Christ even more.

I am daily needing more and more of Christ. Nothing I do ever is enough. Praise God for His grace being more than enough.


Brianna