Saturday, May 28, 2011













Above are some pictures I took while working in Joplin, MO (where the tornado went through last Sunday) today. You know what I said about being proud of my brothers and sisters in Christ in the last post? Well ditto that, times a thousand, because of the hundreds of volunteers who have worked and continue to work on cleaning these homes and businesses up.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

-I'm pretty sure that my best friend is a hero. She buys less wealthy people shoes. She gets food to people who are going through a hard time. She gives money to friends who can't afford the things they need. If that doesn't make you a hero, I don't know what does.

-Someone paid for the rest of my mission trip to Washington this summer for me tonight. He's going to get one heck of a crown when the role is called up yonder. Just sayin.

-Another hero of mine whom I love (Melinda!) is going to be coming home from Africa this week.

Could I be any more happy, or more thankful for, or more proud of my brothers and sisters in Christ?

I doubt it.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Words like wine:
Intoxicate my mind

Free me from the oceans
Of lusty emotion.

Good or bad, happy or sad;
Their persistence will drive me mad.

There it is. Finally.
I knew there was an original poem inside of me. Unfortunately, I discovered it like two weeks too late to finish the poetry challenge. Alas. Finding it was wonderful, though, because it was just like that. I found it. I didn't write it, come up with it, or put it together. It just came to my mind, and I found the rest of the words. I discovered it, and discovery is true inspiration. I think there are very few things as wonderful as this. Very few to me, at least.
I love writing fiction because it is always inspired. I never sit down thinking "I'm going to start a story right now", it always comes to me first. I know it's good if I don't have to think much while I'm writing it. If it just flows from me smooth and quick like it's just passing over, passing through. When my mind doesn't get in the way, it's like I'm just bringing the words down to earth from their higher resting place. And it feels so great. I love it.
I watched the movie The Pianist last night. It's a movie about a Polish Jew who played piano like a boss, but was captured, and tortured, and treated like Jews were treated during World War 2. The part that got to me was when he was standing in front of a German soldier, with nothing but his sick, starving self, and the soldier asked him what he did, who he was, the main character (his name is about 400 letters long) told him that he was a pianist. That's all he said. When he was there, with nothing, asked who he was, what he did, he went back to what he loved. What inspired him. Now I don't know if, put in that situation, I would say I'm a writer. Hopefully I'd be on my feet enough to mention my identity in Christ. But whatever I'd say, I love to write, and that is where so much of my joy comes from. When I write from beyond my heart and soul, from the fount that uses me to find its' place on the page, I am doing what I love, and I am so thankful for it.


<3

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

There is a lot of crazy stuff going on in the world today. Especially if you look at it in light of where society has been, and how history has led us to where we are right now. It's really dreadful, and I think the knee jerk reaction for a lot of the people who have recognized this downward spiral has been to duck, to run for spiritual cover, to turtle-up.
So many do this, and so many suffer for it. If we don't face the problem head-on, if we don't put ourselves out there for what we believe in, and for what we want, we miss something. Something big.
One of my favorite passages of scripture has always been: One gives freely yet grows all the richer while another withholds what he could give and only suffers want {Proverbs 11:24}. I think it's sort of like a promise from God: if we invest ourselves, if we get involved, we won't end up with less than we started. Perhaps our wallets will be a little bit lighter, or our hearts a little bit heavier, but we will have lived! We will have done what we could. We will have seized the day!
I recently found a verse that seems kind of parallel to the one above: Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox. {Prov. 14:4} It just feels to me like this verse, in analogous Bible-times jargon, is telling us that if we don't make the investment, if we don't take the risk, we are not going to end up with anything. Putting oneself out there, whether by helping someone, or by joining an intermediate art class, or by going after your dream job, or by sharing what you know to be truth, is like asking God for something to be a part of: something to bring crops, though it may dirty your manger.
Running from a problem, individual, nation-wide, or even world-wide gets you nothing but disconnected from the people around you. We can't all run. And we shouldn't. World hunger is never going to end. Children will always go without education. Some people will never have shoes. Don't go your whole life without encountering problems that seem to big to be overcome.

God doesn't need us, but he lets us sink our hands in. {Andrew Osenga}

There's so much blessing in hurt. There's so much to learn from turmoil. Great joy comes after great sorrow. True love springs from death. Suffering unites us.
Shallow emotions are not enough for me. I want to feel so deeply that every tear I see resonates in my soul. I want brokenness so profound that nothing short of the hand of God can repair my contrite heart.

weep for death. laugh for life.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Wow. So I legitimately failed the 30 day poetry challenge, in case you didn't notice that there isn't a poem posted for April 29. You could say that it was a sacrifice that had to be made in order for me to accomplish passing a lifeguarding certification course this weekend. You could also say that I didn't remember at the right times. I'd just say that I failed. I feel pretty bad about it too.....I'm the kind of person that doesn't like to fail. No I do not. But the failure has occurred. It can't be helped. Please accept my sincere apology, blog world. I am sorry.

Let's be honest, though, it was fun while it lasted! I hope you enjoyed it!