I have a desire. I have a desire to worship with my hands. To worship with my hands uplifted to God, glorifiying Him...for being...God. I want to worship not just mentally, but emotionally, and physically. I want to be able to show my joy to the Lord in songs of praise to HIM!

I have been struggling with this for a while. Currently, I cannot worship like this...exactly. Sure I can raise a hand when singing, but not in a truly expressive way. I'm not saying I want to jump around and act crazy, I don't. But just expressing my love and joy in the Lord, giving Him the glory, that is my desire.

I go to a great church. I don't think it is at all a bad church. At all. The doctrine is fantastic. But, I can say with all honesty that emotional worship is not a big deal. Worship is stationary, not very emotional. This is a struggle for me. I want to worship the Lord in an enviornment where the doctrine is great, but also where I am free to raise my hands in glory to my Creator. Even more so, I want to do so in a place where people won't look down on me. Where it isn't "weird" or "odd for me to do so. Church is meant to be a family. But when a family isn't supportive or on the same page as you...is that not a problem?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying emotions in worship is more important than doctrine. You can't have one without the other. It isn't one without the other. It should be a balance.

I want to feel at home. I want to feel at home in church.


Brianna

P.S. I apologize for maybe not being clear. This was a spilling out of emotion and pain.