I've got on here tonight knowing that I have something to say, but not knowing exactly how to say it. Usually I go over subject matter in my mind until I have come up with at least an idea of how I am going to express myself. Tonight, though, I have no idea...yet.
So this job has got me thinking. (Sorry I talk about it a lot, trust me, it's not because I like it all that much.) I've always sort of wondered why people want to work in offices, like, what makes white collar work "better" than blue collar work?-or, at least, what makes every one think that one is better than the other? Well, working in an office has definetely not answered these questions. It has only made me wonder even more. It's just staring at a screen, making calls, answering questions all day. Sure things vary from day to day more at a law firm than they do for people who clean pools, but it's not that varied, and you're INSIDE. all. the. time. What's appealing about that? What's appealing about sitting on your bum all day? What's appealing about taking a fifteen minute break in a white-washed room every three hours? Then again...what is there to look forward to in waking up before the sun so as to beat the heat, and plant the shrubbery? What's the joy in manning the furnace at an aluminum plant every night? What's appealing about breaking your back for forty years and aching for fifteen more? Don't get me wrong, I love working, but five days a week, eight hours a day, can make anything seem brutal in my simple mind. I wonder if it is selfish to want to spend those five days doing something one loves.
Any adults who read this are probably chuckling as I wake up to the realities of life. Whether college, or work force, or career path, people have to do things they don't want to. Things even less preferable to them than a ten-page report or fifty problem math set. Things worse than High School. As I work in this office I am learning more and more to love and embrace the time I get to study as well as chill out during my High School years. Two more years before I've got to get moving and do something with my life. I have no idea at all what I want to do with my life (as in a long-term plan of action), and I kind of worry myself by just not worrying at all. Nobody else seems to be worrying really, but most of them have some idea of what school or path they're are going to choose. I just want to dabble in everything, which most likely won't work so well for someone who needs to make a living. Yet, still, when I look inside myself all I detect, in relation to my future, is a sea of calm. This could be good, this could be bad. I'm not really worried.



Lydia

P.S. Today I saw a lovely lady at the dollar store. She was listening to music on her Ipod and singing along to it; out loud. It was K.C. and the Sunshine Band. Quite fun stuff. She proceeded to dance while waiting in line, purchase the six balloons tied around her wrist, and then leave. My hero.