A few weeks ago I was at a friend's house for a party and some pizza. Shortly after I got there I noticed her turn the oven on and slip the pizza (in the boxes) into it. Less than ten minutes later she opens it to pull them out and smoke starts pouring from the mouth of the oven, then fire. There's five girls there. Two just stand at a distance and observe, one jumps around yelling about a fire extinguisher, one runs around grabbing glasses of liquid to dump on the mess, and I stand there knowing that there's a better way to deal with this, but that way eludes me. I simply join in the dashing of water and soda onto the pizza. The fire goes out and we laugh hysterically.
Looking back, I realize that the better way I was searching for was to close the oven and thus cut off the oxygen fueling the fire. Such an obvious answer, and if we had thought of it, both pizzas could have been saved. But we did not think of it. And that is OK. I think, in a crazy way, this story can be related to how things pan out in real life most of the time. When we have hindsight, we often see better ways to have done things, but that doesn't mean we should have done it that way. It just means that to our flawed minds, it looks better. I don't regret standing there wondering what to do as the two other girls jumped into action, or not asking her what the heck she was thinking by putting the cardboard boxes into the lighted oven. It's fine.

To be a peacemaker, you have to be at peace with yourself and the things you do.


I really believe that (just so far as we don't make peace with our sin). Sometimes we have to make decisions in a matter of minutes. What's best for us. What's best for others. Sometimes it doesn't turn out well, sometimes our decisions fix everything. But no matter what we do, how hard we regret, or how proud we are of the action we took, la la la la life goes on. Pages turn. Stuff ends. New things begin. It's hard but it's beautiful. Our spirits give us the strength to bounce back with renewed energy. That energy is freedom. Freedom to stary over, to try new things, to meet new people. To be open. Life is like a brook that bubbles past. We are little rocks that get stuck in it's currents and gulleys. The water shapes us, molds us. Our hearts are bruised by its racing fury. We float on again. All of this is God's work of sanctification in us, and it is perfect in spite of our blemishes.
Things never seem to end in this world. They just stop for a while....and then they are back, or something quite similar takes their place. Saying goodbye is only temporary. Bidding adieu won't last forever. God's plan is usually different than ours and it is always wonderful.



The End.




(for now at least :))



Lydia

And I said Oh My Lord, why am I not strong?
Like the wheel that keeps the traveller travelin' on
Like the wheel that will take me home.
~The Tallest Man on Earth

The struggles of life are so hard. They are difficult. Separation is difficult and painful...no matter what blessings you might try and see through it, it still does not alleviate the painful nature of the separation.

I know I am being hid beneath the Shadow of HIS wings. That is the comfort I am finding right now. Knowing that regardless of the situation and of whatever I may have done, He still loves me. He still cares for me with all of His being. He loves me. He protects me. He is my friend. He is enough.

Praise be for that.

Brianna

Sometimes I wonder if weather is a reflection of our deep inward feelings in a tangible way.

Thanksgiving sometimes seems like an exercise in apathy, and little more.

It's Thanksgiving week so me and my baby sister have had more time to hang out! We made this picture out of melted crayons yesterday, and managed to shut the power down for a minute (apparently 2 is too many blow dryers going at once;))! It's not the most beautiful thing that I have made, but we spent time together and that's what matters.

I <3 you, baby sis.

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ~The Apostle Paul

Paul wrote this in a letter after telling the church in Corinth (Greece) that he had been struggling with a vice and had asked God three times to remove it (apparently, saying something 3 times in Greek is like shouting or writing it in italics). It was something terrible, perhaps physical, perhaps emotional. Whatever it was, Paul struggled with it for a long time, and he hated it, but through this he learned how to trust God more, as the passage above implies.
Now, I am not trying to make Paul's thorn seem less important or serious by comparing it to mine, but I am struggling with something hard now too. I REALLY doubt that it is worse or as bad as his was, but that does not mean it is easier to deal with. It's making everyday life more complicated, it's testing my patience and endurance, and it's making me question my dreams, and future plans. I have always thought that dreams are good things-they are gifts from God. Most of my dreams require the action that this thorn is taking away from me: to walk the hippy trail, to hitch hike across the U.S.A. with a true friend (sappy, I know, but a dream's a dream), to rescue Sudanese children from captivity. Is this thorn God's way of showing me that these are not the dreams He wants me to chase? Or is He just telling me to be patient, to bear the pain silently, and to look towards brighter tomorrows with fresh hope? He hasn't told me what it is yet. I do know, however, that His mercies are new every morning. I know that this pain is only temporary,and that though I may be weak physically, I can be strong spiritually.




Lydia

I'm at a stage in my life where all it seems I'm doing is figuring out stuff. I'm figuring out where I'm going to attend college in the fall. I'm trying to find scholarships so I can somehow afford school.

Honestly, it stresses me out. I'm so overwhelmed my it all. There are so many different sites to look at and so many things to fill out and try to write. I'm stuck in this stage where I'm paralyzed by all of this. I'm so scared that I won't get in where I want to go, and even if I do, that I won't be able to go there because I can't pay for it. Really, I think the later option is what scares me the most. I'm terrified of being stuck here. No, it's not like I hate where I am...I don't exactly. I just can not be here next year. The closest of my friends, the ones who share in my hearts desires and life goals, etc., they won't be here. I can not be here without them.

The three of us support one another while we're here. None of us want to stay here, and all of us share in the desire to serve somewhere in this world...mostly out of the states. Since we all have this singular desire, we all hold one another up.

This is partially why I don't want to be here. The closest of my friends are going to be out, doing something else, something they want and desire while I am stuck...stuck in the mundane in a place I have grown tired of. I know that sounds harsh...when I've tried to explain it before, I've gotten shocked expressions. I don't know how to put what I'm feeling in less-harsh words.

I just remain waiting on my Savior. Waiting to see where He will take all of this. I know it's all in His hands, and I need to rest in that. It's hard and I really struggle with that concept sometimes, but that's also just me needing to rely on Christ even more.

I am daily needing more and more of Christ. Nothing I do ever is enough. Praise God for His grace being more than enough.


Brianna